Heart aflame with light!

Run!

2005-07-26T18:36:00.000+08:00

Sprinted 400m with my bag and faulty shoes to chase down bus 54 today. Damn cool to run so fast even with a 12 kg bag and actually reach the bus just barely on time. Was having a super super high heartbeat thereafter. I think it's quite bad for my body, but since the damage is done, I can't really do anything right now right? Hahaz. Was sleeping on the bus until I reached the stop, where the bus driver was desperately trying to wake me up in vain at first because I was RIGHT BEHIND him, as in you know those seats which people rarely sit on? Yup. I was sitting there. Don't ask me why. Hahaz. I just felt like doing it, plus most people wouldn't try to sit next to me there because most people wouldn't like to sit there.

Ranting! Hahaz.

Actually reached home by 6+.

Stressed by the heavy workload and all. I mean... Try going abroad and back twice, killing 4 weeks, together with another 3 weeks killed due to SRP and SYO rehearsals and noteworthy concert. With that, my CTs were completely crap because I didn't do a single tutorial nor did I actually study really much for the CTs. So basically I was in deeeeeep shit. Hahaz. Yup. An OBOE. Hahaz.

Listening to Corrinne May now. Hahaz. Really good singer, but I guess her image could improve. I guess you can't be exactly perfect all the time can you? Hahaz. I've seen very few true all-rounders, other than those you would call "pure endomorphs". =P

I can cry over her music I tell you. It's so emotional. I guess that's what really touches a lot of people's heart. Interesting how being swinging single completely kills some emotions in your body because of fear of rekindling passion.

Does anyone care to guess what's going on in my head?

Piano exam's on 25th August. And learning to relax REALLY helped me get through the lessons very well. Hahaz. I have to thank my teacher for that. She's really good. =) Hahaz. After that I could actually play the violin much better because learning to relax is what I should do.

Quite an irony. I always asked some people to relax even though they're not uptight or angry or anything, yet I can never relax. I guess the greatest sinners are the best advisors, for they know what's wrong. They're experienced it so much that it doesn't really matter already.

If your body aches, and your heart's empty, what do you use to keep you going on? Many people found religion as a great way of cleansing themselves of their sins, finding strength to continue in life due to various reasons. I guess the truth I have to say about it is that no matter what religion you choose, no matter what trouble you meet up, it's all within your capabilities to draw strength from wherever you wish, and stand up. It's just whether you're able to find the key. I've found mine. I've lasted without a religion(much to many people's shock) for all 7 years of my hardship years. Some might scoff and say that I'm an idiot not to believe in what they believe, but I guess I never really found the reason to believe in what they do, because I have depended very much on my own means to find my way.

I still remember a really wise senior of mine once commented that it's really hard to do proper philosophy without having an anchor of religion or any sort. But I found out where I anchored, and where I stand on this land. I found my anchor in me, and where I stand would be a small particle flying about everywhere, in search of the truth, wisdom and love.

I guess religion is one form of anchor. But I found another. I had found something within me, so resilient, that even if my body were to be torn into pieces, emotions running amok, it'll lead me back to it and form me once again. That something is my heart. =)

I rarely found anyone reaching a certain intellectual level without ever having a religion on their backs before. It's so hard to reach that level. I still have no idea where I stand, but I hope I'll be able to reach there on my own. "Taking the more trecherous route" might prove more worthwhile when I reach a new level in understanding, for my sights would have far exceeded that which I may see if I had taken the easy way, for trial and error, teaches what's wrong and what's right, and what sins I would prefer to commit than avoid. Such is the way I lead my life. I walk on this road.

I look up ahead at the rest of my life with dread, anticipation, excitement, nervousness, fear and immense curiosity. Only time will reveal me, those around me, and the truth that lies beneath all of humanity.

Vienna!

2005-07-17T19:38:00.000+08:00

Wow... Long time since I lost blogged. Anyway this is for easy access and much easier for me to mention names without worrying about getting found. Hahaz. =) This shall be all about the Vienna trip!

To start off, I had to go to Glen's place for like 4 days before I could go home 2 days before the trip because my family was down with conjunctivitis due to the Adena virus and I was the sole survivor. To keep me safe for the trip my family had sent me away to the protection of another warm home. =) It was fun there, but I missed home.

The rushing to the airport was okay because of the jam, but I got there pretty much average because some people were REALLY late, but that didn't matter because everyone was still checking in their luggage. It was fun, meeting up all the SYO members. Quite a few were commenting the excitement of going on the Vienna trip had died down even though they had been ultra excited at first. However, that obviously didn't stop them from the chance of having fun. =) We went through the gantry and were lost looking for some leisure activities before we boarded the planes.

There was this jazz band at the airport, not spectacular but *okay* lar... Then we went Burger King to get some food and went to play X Box. Fun stuff =). Then went to the gate and boarded the plane after some good jokes about tying ribbons in the hair. It's amazing how I can still remember it. Perhaps it's because I had a picture of me with a ribbon in my hair taken. -_-. Things I do in the name of fun. Oh yes... The FREE PHONE SERVICE ROCKED! Hahaz. Not because i used it, because it's the best way to observe the different people who used it. From the one flirting to the one talking to the mother like a good mummy's boy. Hahaz. It was interesting and funny. =)

Plane ride, I was playing with Zhaohan's gameboy and had a heck of a great time at the starting talking to Catheline(I dunno how to spell... sorry). Found another good friend who thought the same. She loves philosophy as well. Way cool. Then ended up sleeping most of the rest of the way. Didn't even get to really watch the movies. Hahaz oh well. =X

Reached there in the morning, and at a time we usually don't even wake up at, but it doesn't matter. Helped out with the carrying of the stuff and away we went into the city of Vienna! Hahaz. It took around 15 minutes to reach Vienna proper, and we were given a sight tour of Vienna IN THE BUS. I hate group tours, but there's no choice. It's ultra bad for photography as well. It's only for people who love to rush rush rush. Hahaz. I like to rush, but not on a holiday! Hahaz.

We went to Schonbrunn later on to explore it. Hahaz. The place was not bad at all because I'd been there before. The architecture was beautiful, scandals within the castle was useless to me, the garden was amazingly beautiful. Oh yes, a comment was that the flowers were more beautiful than any flowers in Singapore. Which was pretty much all true. It was beautiful. Oh yes, everyone was shocked at my "cold resistance skill". Went around pretty much without a sweater and all. Everyone else was freezing. It was a good thing I went to America before going there first, didn't use my sweater at all throughout the whole trip. =X

Oh yes, SWEATER, not SWEATSHIRT. Dammit would Miss Cheong get it right for once!!!! First it was Windbreaker, then Jacket, then SWEATSHIRT. It's a SWEATER!

Lunch was back at the hotel and it was shit. Hahaz. I finished everything except for the apple. That was as much as I finished for the rest of the days. There were quite a few days that I didn't even touch the contents of the lunch pack. Btw, I believe they call it "Mittagessenkaufe" meaning lunch boxes, that's why she keeps saying boxes? I dunno. Hahaz. But it's DEFINITELY not a box.

Was trying to fix Glen's luggage because that smart guy had his combination lock completely screwed. We tried from 000 to 999 more than 6 times and couldn't even open it. We finally ended it later on by enlisting the help of the tools guy to come over and wrench it out with a screw. Glen tipped him a dollar euro for it. Hahaz. Interesting how a young man would tip for services. *Wonders where he got his courtesy* Hahaz. I shall not go on. =P

We then went to buy some grocery for the night, such as water and yoghurt drinks/milk. We ended up buying CARBONATED mineral water which I kinda grew to like later on but ended up not being able to drink due to illness. But it was basically a fun day because there was tons of crapping. I bought CHIO chips which tasted great. Jem bought some chocolate which tasted heavenly, and the girls nearby were buying CORNY biscuits and some other interestingly named brands of different goods. Imagine if they knew what it meant in Singapore. Hahaz. Think the company would actually get more money because people will be so amused. ;)

We then had dinner downstairs in the hotel and rehearsal later on. Everyone was so shagged the rehearsal wasn't too fruitful but it got us warmed up for the competition. The dinner was always, and I mean ALWAYS, three-coursed. Not bad, but not spectacular. Guess it's not RICH enough for me. I'm a nuts for rich food. Such as peanut butter. *mouth water* I'm a fatass!

Slept super early that night because we were shagged from the flight and the competition was coming up. We needed our sleep. Meanwhile, the room was about to lapse into the "week of utter mess" because there was non-stop partying and strewn apparels all about in the room. Hahaz. It was still amazingly fun. =)

Woke up really the next morning, and the most orderly morning of the whole week. Hahaz. The rest of the trip was just a huge mess everytime we woke up. Hahaz. Breakfast was not bad at all. Really enjoyed it. Started loving the preserve from that day on, and had two bread of it every morning every chance I got, which wasn't very often I found out. Hahaz. Then we went to Austria Centre to practise.

It took quite a long ride to get there, no wonder we had to wake up early. The practice was not bad, and I got a few nice shots which I hope come out just as I thought. Hahaz. Problem is that I was using a 400 film dammit! Hahaz. Should've switched to 800 early. Doubt most people understand this. Hahaz. The Beijing Orchestra didn't seem to like us a lot, neither did we really like them, but it was damn cheesy that we had SO SIMILAR attires. However, I now do appreciate the KFC look and the girls' velvet dresses, because it looks so much better than the tootness of THEIR KFC look and the girls wearing "garbage bags". Oh yes, the girls tend to have a lot worse figure and FACES in the Beijing Orchestra. Hahaz. Toast to Singapore! =X I'm a superficial dick! Hahaz.

Had lunch which... Was like yesterday. Only ate the bread. Hahaz. Then played bridge till we had to go for the opening ceremony. It was very symbolic of international friendship, because Israel and Germany were playing together. In case anyone forgot, it was the bands from Haifa and Jugend Blasorchester Manfelder Land(short terms... long ones I can't remember) right? Hahaz. They weren't really good lar, but they were not too bad. There were a few good players, but overall the coordination was bad and the rendition of Poet and Peasant, had one of the judges commenting "The worst rendition I've ever heard." But it was still great, because the international friendship idea was brought through with the Jews and Germans cooperating for such a huge festival. =) Cheerios to them!

We chionged back to the hotel and changed and chionged to the disco after that. Hahaz. I lead the pack to go to the front. The first disco night, most people were still wearing rather conservative except for a few who I kinda expected. It's okay to wear like that lar, as in -not- conservative, especially since they weren't wearing SKIMPY clothes. Hahaz. Imagine the effect on the rest of the YO boys. *tsk tsk tsk* Hahaz. But I lead the dance to the front of the Blues Brothers. Man... They're good. And the guitarist was sick. Was enjoying it like mad, lost my voice, and actually danced, shocking a lot of the girls nearby because I can dance. Hahaz. But this was the "warm up" night. And Tedson and the contrabassoonist tried to compete. I guess you should guess the results of that lar. Hahaz. Zab was hot dancing! Hahaz. But she didn't dare to do much of it. Seriously, Zab, if you're reading this, you shouldn't be so afraid of dancing in front of others. You dance well and good figure, flaunt it when you should ;). Hahaz. And Yixin, amazingly, has a good figure and can dirty dance pretty well. Interesting facts you learn about the guys in your own orchestra. Sadly most guys couldn't dance nor really made an impact to me much that night. Hahaz. But it was still fun. =)

Went back to the hotel thereafter, with Glen falling asleep on my bed, Junhong flaming me about my bridge skills, Jeremy falling asleep on his bed, and the rest of the people chatting with me throughout the night. I was chatting with Ike for quite a while, and then went back, tucked Glen in, removed Jem's shoes, and slept on Glen's bed instead.

The next morning I fell ill. Yes. COMPETITION DAY. Hahaz. Greatness. Fever and sore throat, plus loss of voice. Man it was great to play for the competition no matter how many mistakes you make(because you're ill). But the whole thing was great, though there were a few problems by the winds, and a few mistakes here and there by the strings, it was ultimately a great performance and the response was great. Hahaz. I thought that we had a good chance at first judging by the reaction of the crowd. Hahaz. It was a magnificent moment.

We then returned to listen to Sprague Strings Orchestra, which pwned RJ ass with their Bloch Concerto and their Dag Wiren Serenade. Felt damn nerfed. Hahaz. Though I didn't play much, it was a bloody nerfing period. We then went back to the hotel where I get lots of rest because I was running higher and they were going to Pottsching, which ended up to be the most sentimental concert that anyone experience. And I MISSED IT. Hahaz. But I was ill. If I went there I'd probably die now. Slept for 8 hours. Hahaz. Then when they came back we had fun in the room and all. I was taken aback by the immense amount of concern given to me by all my friends. =) I love SYO! Hahaz. It was so warm. I was ill the worst and they treated me so well... I wish that I could do more to repay, perhaps a treat? Thanks Annette and Huiqi for the lozenges and kettle. Thanks Glen and Jeremy for the concern. Thanks Sherilyn for the medicine! Thanks Joyce and Bev for the concern as well. Thanks Ike for being a great new friend. =) More cheerios to everyone else who helped but the groggy me can only remember these names for now. Will add more in in time. Hahaz.

The night was quite funny, I was supposed to yank people away from Remus' room which didn't quite work because all the girls were madly playing games and didn't want to change room. Hahaz. Someone called over and told us we were on Channel 12 but it ended up to be porno... And there were QUITE A LOT OF GIRLS IN THE ROOM. Hahaz. Sorry to kill your rep, that Someone. Wanna blame then blame the people in your room=P.

Was the last to sleep again, and the next morning was a contemplation moment for me, whether I should go off with the rest for Vienna Woods and go for the concert at night. Hahaz. It took quite a while before I realised I didn't wanna waste another day in Vienna once more, even though I DID hit 40 degrees in the morning. But I started sweating so it was pretty good. The monastery was an interesting place. I'm really impressed by the work of Giovanni whatshisname. Hahz. Great Italian sculptor. Oh yes, the whole of Europe seems to love GILDING everything. Hahaz. They remind me of the gold-crazy people.... Can't say much more for fear of stuff... =X.

We then went to some market to buy stuff. I got some lozenges from Dr Kee after telling him that a pharmacy was nearby, and I bought 8 litres of drinks while Glen, Jeremy, Chin, Ioannes, JingRong bought like 300 euros worth of chocolates to bring home. It was -sick-. Hahaz.

That was pretty much the only thing really noticed there that day because we had to go somewhere else for the concert and it would take quite a while to reach there. We saw most things in the buses. Like HUGE SUNFLOWER FIELDS! I love sunflowers. They represent me. Seeing so many actually kinda assures me that perhaps that there're more like me actually. Which I found quite a few. =) I'm glad. Hahaz. The meadows are just beautiful there in the outskirts of Vienna.

Was taking photos for the concert because I didn't want to affect the music with my semi-conscious state. I was being the best photographer I could be. I'm glad. But the camera jumped from shutter speed of 1/60 to 1/500 for no reason at all. HIGHLY annowing. But I got over it after a while. Wasted a few films because of that but it's alright. I scrimped enough.... I didn't even use all the films. =X

I finally got the sense as to why Pottsching was so well-received. The people don't really experience much great music even though just only outside of Vienna because no one really comes over to these small communities to give them the gift of beautiful music. And there were comments that our concert was the best performance they had ever heard. =) Standing ovations. I'm proud of us! =)

Mozart concert thereafter. The bassoonist was sick for the bassoon concerto, with perfect runs and a beautiful, almost matching that of a saxophone's. The timpanist doubled as snare drummer and cymbalist for the Blue Danube which impressed all of us, and the skills of the whole orchestra just left me in awe.

That night I had just gone to sleep early because I was way too tired. Snored, as according to my roomies but it's okay because it's not annoyingly loud, just annoying. Hahaz. But they were watching some things on tv. Funniest thing is the "*eyes glued to tv* Hey stop it! Stop watching ****, it's DISGUSTING!". Hilarious stuff. I was half-sleeping then. Imagine how bad it must've sounded. With the tv right next to my ear. EEPS! Haha.

The next day was just another day. Hahaz. LIKE REAL! It was when we were about to know our results! Hahaz. And man I was ready for the second day at the disco. Wore my Levi's Jeans. Hahaz. The morning was aggravating because we had to let the winds perform with the China Strings that day, with Chester BRAGGING about it. But what happened was that we tied and that the China Winds were... Quite off compared to ours lar... So yup. Anyway, we went to perform Dance of the Yao again. Hahaz, there was a judge which commented that Metamorphosis was really well-played, but it was hard to enjoy that piece. Hahaz =X Modern without much of a true harmony. But it was still a not-bad piece I must say.

Anyway, after we performed, we went back to the bus to put our stuff and the cellists got chased to the other side of the road because of a rampaging car speeding down the roads. Hahaz. Then they decided to start playing over there! Hahaz. What a sight! Then joined in the violinists. I wanted to join in but as the photographer I had a job to do and I fired one whole role. All in all, Every section had people in, with Rayner being the lone bassists pwning the day with his mad improvisation skills to take over the horn. It was really fun.

Then it was back into the hall for the announcement of the results. Hahaz. Let's just say it was nerve-wrecking. It was cute that Jipson was made to do a drumroll for each award. Then it came to us. Everyone was a nervous wreck. Including Mr Lim. We stood a good chance because the Chinese Strings might be technically perfect, but the whole orchestra was emotionless, as compared to the not-so-perfect-but-so-expressive SNYO. Hahaz I'm bragging. But anyway, it was announced that it was a TIE!!!! WITH BOTH FIRST! Hahaz. I was so happy that I cried. Stood up an applauded happily. Was appalled by the fact that the Chinese National Flag was waving like mad. You don't wave your flag like that in the middle of a cultural hall and act like it's okay. It was seriously so... Act. Sigh... But I guess it's THEIR culture. But they still did well. Though I honestly think that we should've won it, PLUS get the outstanding performance award. Apparently because they're a more internationally recognised group, that's why they brought our marks down to tie with them.... I mean... WTF! Oh well... They were disappointed that we had tied with them lar... I mean we should've won. By any means they should've been happy. Politics politics politics. Irony!

Anyway we were trying to rush off but couldn't because the bus drivers weren't around, therefore we ended up having free and easy, and the 6 of us did some taboo stuff not allowed to be mentioned here. Hahaz. Bought sunglasses, bread and cheese(which ended up spoilt at the end of the trip) that trip. And some TABOO stuff. Hahaz. Whee=P. Taboo!!!!

Hahaz... That night was fun at the disco. Hahaz. The first thing I did was to start teaching Ioannas who was able to do quite a bit by the end of the hour we were there. I was pwning ass then. Hahaz. The Australians saw and came over, but couldn't compete, the Chinese girls came over but couldn't keep up. Hahaz. Then Steph went on stage and I joined her(quite willingly, fine). Hahaz It was fun lar. Taking centrestage. I still remember this 11 year old Taiwanese girl who kept doing a warped from of dirty dancing, looking disgusting and keeps trying to grab all the attention. Quite annoying. Hahaz. Wanted to throw her off the stage. Anyway when SYO started a circle, I jumped in to start the ball rolling, brought Wilbur in, and then brought Jipson in, when some Chinese girls charged in and danced with Jipson. Feed for gossipers later on. Hahaz. But it was fun. Meanwhile Ioannas, Zhangyi, Joanna and a few others were trying to dance the dance from me. Hahaz. So fun.

Went out of the disco in 1 hour because Miss Cheong asked us to. It killed the feeling of the disco lar... Even though she was thinking that it's okay for us to go back after we told her when we reached the Rathausplatz. I had reminded her of the way to get there and stuff like that. Quite interesting how I became the person who led us there despite being reluctant to leave. The dance programme was not bad, a lot of contemporary abstract dance, which most of our people didn't understand so I didn't get the point of being there actually, but oh well. The night was quite uneventful. I was just walking around killing time. Oh yes and I learnt that you should pay for a toilet when you see a paying toilet, because chances are all the nearby toilets are just as well paying or the only public toilet around is atrocious, and using it was a BAD idea. Hahaz. Yup. Got me?

Didn't sleep that night because halfway through enjoying our spoils of tabooness, an event came up and I had to deal with it. Became Papa while Andris became Mama for that whole morning. And got called that thereafter. Sheesh. Funny part was when the joke was going on, saying that "Papa and Mama got a son, and the son was really loud." I said that I was the son and Glen was the Papa! Hahaz. Man... I thought that scenario was really cute. Hahaz. It was the last night before we left. Hahaz.

It affected a lot of people, that night. And the effects last till now. Sigh. Hope that clouds will clear one day, with only bright sunshine battering down on the poor hearts...

Wednesday was a trip to SALZBURG! I was spending most of the bus ride helping with things lar. Hahaz Quite interesting lar... The whole morning was really awkward... But I LOVED THE APPLE STRUDEL! Hahaz. There was this honesty system thing running in the shop, and the Apfel Strudel was sehr gut!!! Hahaz. =). Then we went off into Salzburg. It was nice to revisit that little city. Hahaz. Little and city doesn't match but it doesn't matter. Went into the shopping alley. And THEY WENT SHOPPING! Then we had the best lunch ever in Austria, because we went to this Argentinian restaurant, had great food and San Jose wine. Magnificent! ;) Hahaz. Best lunch there ever.

Then we went back to Vienna. Quite uneventful, but the trip was sleepful. Hahaz. But I had slept early that night because I was still slightly sick and groggy and needed rest for the next day. Hahaz. It was quite funny. I fell asleep next to Andris and woke up next to Weicheng and Tiapyang. And apparently my snoring was a good joke because when everything was silent then could the whole room hear my snore. Hahaz. Oops. UNGLAM! So unglen=P.

Hahaz. The next day was about the shopping! Hahaz. It was window shopping until we reached this REALLY raunchy shop in the shopping district. Hahaz. It was way cool to buy all the stuff... From foreplay dice to singing schlong! Hahaz. Hilarious stuff. ;) I bought a LIVEWRONG band to burn those posers with the livestrong bands. Hahaz. Way fun. And bought a Simpsons poster and a dogs poster for my siblings. HAhaz. Way fun day. Bought some more drinks and taboo stuff and then left for lunch.

After lunch we went to another side of the Vienna city, where we saw a lot of good buskers. I bought this trio's CD, they're called tonARTrio. Really good. And I also bought 5 scoops of icecream there. Great day all in all.

Night was just havoc. Hahaz. End it there.

Coming back to Singapore, I was sitting next to Cathleen again. Hahaz. Didn't talk much this time but it was nice. =) Slept for most of the way. Hahaz. And reaching Singapore was nice, but I'll really miss the Vienna trip. It was rocking.... I'll miss the trip with YO a lot. Hopefully Japan would come next year! ;)

Footnote: Thanks to everyone for making the trip such a beautiful trip. And I -do not- like ANYONE.

Acknowledgements:
Glen and Jeremy for being great roomies throughout the trip. Hahaz. You guys rock! Hahaz. Never stop the jokes and parties! Keep on partying.

Andris for being such a great friend for those who needed it. It was priceless I believe.

Zhiwei for being such a good friend, and *unknowing* entertainment=P. Hahaz shall not say much.

Joy and Ruolin for being so understanding and sweet and nice.

Sherilyn, Joyce and Bev for being so sweet and nice as always. Hahaz. And bring out the mothers in each of you! ;)

Shaun, Ruilin and Herbert for being rocking neighbours! Hahaz nice seniors as well.

Zab, Lijia and Mifi, for being great guests in the room.

The whole winds sections for being such funny guys and great people, as well as allowing me to crash your party.

Those RI gang members. Hahaz. Gang members. Yup. You guys spiced up the whole trip.

The whole viola section. You guys ROCKED!!!!! Hahaz.

Dr Kee, for taking care of me so much.

Miss Cheong and Mrs Ho and Mrs Wong for caring for me so much.

Last but not least, Mr Lim, for being a great friend and conductor. A great role model and leader for us all. =)

Another result!

2005-05-12T00:25:00.000+08:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Another result!

2005-05-02T22:55:00.000+08:00

You are the color red. You are the most
controversial of all the colors. You are often
easily angered, but as easily as you got
excited, you come down. When angered, do you
have the tendency to be malicious? Afterwards,
do you end up begging for forgiveness? Maybe.
But you're incredibly generous, and, odd
enough, needy. You love to hate, and
sometimes, you hate to love. This color
describes you as generally edgy. When in a bad
situation, you're pessimistic, and when you're
in a good situation, you're extremely
optimistic. You're painfully tempermental, and
sometimes it hurts the ones you love. But with
an exciting and stimulating attitude, you enjoy
talking to people and being social. But aside
from your bold and outgoing attitude, you're
attention-needing and attention-getting. This
color is associated with lust and desire--and
you are both lust and desirous. You're a
protective person when it comes to the people
you love. You're incredibly sharp-witted and
powerful (not to mention intelligent!).

What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate--with pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Not exactly there lar... But quite true. I'm red and blue. NOT purple. Just red AND blue. =P

Gone

2005-04-14T22:24:00.000+08:00

Sorry for not being around for quite a while...

My life has gone into a tumbling mess. Don't really have anyone to turn to now... Especially since bestie's busy with her life and I have this massive void. What makes it worse is that my family isn't exactly making anything better.

I have a feeling I should have at least gone for something in the EXCO of SYO. I didn't submit because I forgot and was too late when I remembered. Then comes the results... -_-. I feel bad already lar damn it.

And I might have to withdraw from the Vienna tour. AND might have some problems with SRP. I'm -kinda- pissed. Oh yes, and I forgot to get the form from the jazz board. How could I? I'm an idiot. I feel damn tired. I feel damn lost. Oh yes, the problems with Vienna and SRP would be due to a family trip to America on 21st May to 5th June. And there's Jazz concert and Chamber during that period. Along with a quartet I was supposed to be in for a wedding AND part of the SRP official attachment. Oh yes, to top that up, we have a wonderful GP Common Test during that period.

Wish I had someone to cry to.

It's quite amazingly alone sometimes when you find the void and you're the only one having it. Majorly.

This is like not the lowest point of my life only because I'm actually finally truly confident in myself in some things. And that I've been put up to 3rd desk for Vienna trip. =) I have chance. Hahaz. Just have to work hard.

I'm COMPLETELY exhausted and I have a massive headache everyday. I'm always this close to breaking down, and close to being insane... Happily insane.

I'm an idiot aren't I?

Amused

2005-04-07T17:22:00.000+08:00

Wow.

It's quite interesting how the hate-taggers seem to be the least interesting of all, using the same words over and over again. Even gets my name right! Kudos to him/her/it/them/whatever.

Oh well... I'm actually quite used to it by now. Really seems to be the same people doing it over and over again. Apparently they have that much time to spend on me. I should feel honoured shouldn't I?

Anyway, life's been pretty good. Hahaz. Having lotsa fun(explains why I haven't been blogging). Slacking is like my biggest hobby now, and I have a tendency to not do homework. Hahaz. Oh man. =X It's quite amazing how I still survive tutorials. =)

Am I male or female?

2005-03-31T21:51:00.000+08:00

Your Brain is 53.33% Female, 46.67% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female

You are both sensitive and savvy

Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed

But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

WHee....

Nice answer =)

I'm back

2005-03-29T23:08:00.000+08:00

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion		86%
Stability		63%
Orderliness		16%
Empathy		70%
Interdependence		76%
Intellectual		83%
Mystical		70%
Artistic		76%
Religious		16%
Hedonism		10%
Materialism		50%
Narcissism		56%
Adventurousness		83%
Work ethic		30%
Self absorbed		63%
Conflict seeking		70%
Need to dominate		63%

Romantic		83%
Avoidant		23%
Anti-authority		50%
Wealth		36%
Dependency		50%
Change averse		16%
Cautiousness		63%
Individuality		90%
Sexuality		43%
Peter pan complex		63%
Physical security		83%
Food indulgent		63%
Histrionic		76%
Paranoia		43%
Vanity		56%
Hypersensitivity		70%
Female cliche		36%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

As Justin says, I'm a seasonal blogger.

This is what I am.

Hahaz... Pretty much.

Anyway, these 3 months have officially stressed me out.

Yup. STRESS!

And I've really learnt a lot from all the ordeals I have faced.

But I still have another one to face.

Bad reputation.

A lot of people still have mistakes about me.

Oh well. It'll take time =).

I'll just take it slow. Lol

Test results!

2005-03-15T20:47:00.000+08:00

The Loverboy

Random Gentle Love Master (RGLMm)

Well-liked. Well-established. You are The Loverboy.

Loverboys thrive in committed, steady relationships--as opposed to, say, Playboys, who want sex without too much attachment.

You've had many relationships and nearly all of them have been successful. You're a nice guy, you know the ropes, and even if you can be a little hasty with decisions, most girls think of you as a total catch. Your hastiness comes off as spontaneity most of the time anyhow, making you especially popular in your circle of friends, too.

You know not to make the typical Loverboy mistake of choosing someone who appreciates your good humor and popularity, but who offers nothing in return. You belong with someone outgoing, independent, and creative. Otherwise, you'll get bored. And then instead of surprising her with flowers or a practical joke, you'll surprise her by leaving.

I'm the LOVERBOY. Interesting sia? But shennie goes shouting "VERY TRUE!" Hahaz. Sheesh. I can hear the people chuckling and rolling all over the floor in laughter after reading this. Hahaz.

Oops

2005-03-14T10:48:00.000+08:00

It's been... Ages since I last updated.

Hahaz. around 3 weeks in fact.

Lots of things have been happening but I have been too lazy to update. I mean... It's too hectic already and I'm constantly trying to destress online by chatting. And what happens? I get more stressed because of it. Every time. I'm some weird shit.

Hahaz. Last night's breakdancing competition was damn cool. Looking back it seems so surreal that it happened before my eyes. I feel super super super n00b(probably because I am). Hahaz. Those people do so many nice routines with headspins, hollow back, stradles, air freezes, side freezes, chairs, flares, windmill, air track, crickets, jackhammers, turtles, prop transitions from air baby to chair and things like that. Damn sick.

And Yi Wei's right... Yoshi is bloody damn pro. Hahaz. Super super pro. But heard that he's injured. Hopefully he'll be alright. I know what he means when he said that he wishes to breakdance for the rest of his life. When you love something you know you want to do it for the rest of your life. But I have too many things I love. So what to do? Hahaz. =P

Saw Dehui, Siak, Zhaohan, Zihan, Kiat Weng and Aveline there. Didn't talk to them because they were on the other side with the Inertia and a few of the majority-chinese crew. It's quite interesting, because the battles are really quite racial. Often the crews are majority chinese or majority malay. Then all the majority-chinese ones all go together as one, and the malay-majority ones all go as one. So you get lots of "facton shouting".

Norbin's side freeze to chair is absolutely sick, especially when he did it perfect. Hahaz. Super super sick. Cannot tahan. But then again there were tons of other moves which were super sick, like bboy zul's flare-air track round-a-bout. Hahaz. That was damn cool. But I don't really enjoy Zul's style, because I didn't see much of it. The style I enjoyed the most was bboy charles'. He had this vibe around him that makes him damn cool. Hahaz. And the Malaysian breakers are damn pro too. Oh man... They really know how to bust some moves. Though they lost to Floor Technique, they were good. I thought they could've won, but they failed some important moves, so that ended their run in the quarterfinals.

There's this trio which caught my attention. These three boys who couldn't be older than 15, and they seemed to lack the physique to really dance well. Can't really explain, they just don't seem trained. Their top rocks were quite off beat lar, and a bit stiff, but when they started busting power moves and freezes, they were not bad at all. Though they lost, they seem like a new bunch and have a lot of potential. Kudos to them.

Enemy Grounds is quite good too, too bad they lost to Floor Technique. But the battle itself was pretty obvious who was going to win. A lot of burning going on and about everywhere throughout the battle. Hahaz. Mock fighting happened as well. It was really quite hilarious. =). As in between Floor Technique and Enemy Grounds. I guess all of them are damn good, just depends on whether they really performed yesterday or not. But there were some people who obviously were pro, and underperformed but still pwned. Like one of the Three Faith breakers. He didn't do everything as he intended, but his intentions were obvious and he was really close, so he still pwned a lot of people. Hahaz.

Three Faith was obviously the pro-est throughout. From the first battle it was obvious already, even though they were only warming up with it. Three Faith vs Floor Technique B was really quite an awesome battle. Norbin vs Yoshi. That was what it seemed like to me. A lot of burning going on, but in the end Three Faith won lar. But it was the best battle in the first round. Super sick. Hahaz.

Well. Floor Skillz 3 has inspired me to break. Hahaz. If I'm able to do it. =X. Must start practising, as Pak tells me to. If one day I'm as pro as bboy charles or bboy norbin, then wheee. Hahaz. IF.

2005-02-22T22:14:00.000+08:00

My body's breaking down.

First is second major shin splint in 2 weeks. Then it's another major double calf cramp. Then wonderful quadriceps strain and hamstring pulls. Hahaz. And that's not the end of it. Add a stressed left ankle, painful right knee, injured left shoulder and old "popping" injury of my right shoulder to the list and you can get a nice list of "ouch"s. Even better would be strained muscles on upper body and headache from lack of sleep.

Yes. That's my life for now. Overstrained, overworked, overfatigued and overburnt.

But I'm loving it =).

Hahaz. For once my life has centred mainly around me rather than brooding over something I can't do to help the situation.

For once... I did something to change myself. =)

Today Sunnie and I raided the Hang Ten stall in J8. Hahaz. We had a 50% discount card, bought $220 worth of stuff(+gst) and paid only 97.50 for all of them. Hahaz. Super jack, because the shop guy went to MINUS 5 instead of PLUS 5 when I bought the socks(ankle socks, yes, I'm vain already). So Sunnie and I saved 13 bucks! Hahaz. =) We came, we saw, we raided, we burnt!

Hahaz.

Bought a pair of jeans, a nice white shirt, a shoe bag and a sling bag. Way cool. Hahaz. Super cheap. =X I feel poor now though. Hahaz.

Man I'm really tired.

Whoa

2005-02-21T20:51:00.000+08:00

1 week and 1 day without updating. I feel bad =X.

Hahaz.

A lot of things happened. I had a lot and a lot of things happening in my life but I'm way too lazy to type it all in now.

I just had all kinds of revelation and a new aim in life.

New lease at least. My aim's... Still pretty much the same. And I've got a new slogan ;) :

Live and let live. Love and be loved. Life rocks. =)

Just learn to take things in your stride and be strong and you'll succeed. With self-discipline(which I lack) of course.

Hahaz.

=)

For all the lost souls out there, you'll find the light =). For those think who know me by rumours and think I'm some ass, it's really up to you, if you judge a person just by these, you're losing out on a lot by yourself.(And that's something I'm to learn from too)

=)

I'm a happy person.

I'm a monk too =)

It's amazing how much you can learn from just 2 months of JC. Hope I stay in RJ.

=)

I love life.

It rocks =)

A challenge is always good =).

2005-02-12T21:52:00.000+08:00

Barber Violin Concerto is damn nice. Hahaz especially when you play it.

Love playing all these expressive music. Would love to go back to my Brahms Sonata again in time to really improve on it. It was written "For the love of Clara Schumann", of course he didn't get the love that he wanted but... Oh well. It's very nicely expressive and omg... TOUGH. Hahaz. But damn nice. =). And Mr Chan kept commenting that Barber's a lot easier than expected. Yeah it is actually. Hahaz. But keep it down low okay?

I'm so happy for my bestie and *cough*. Hahaz. So sweet. Confirm die of sugar overdose. I hear about it already going on high glucose poisoning liao. Sheesh. Love is in the air(plays music).

Valentine's day also has something else going on. My sister has a DAMN NICE DIAMOND NECKLACE. For her bday + valentine's day present combined, since it's the same day. Hahaz. SHHHH.... Keep it quiet. Man her boyfriend is damn sweet lar. I'm getting heavy sugar overdosage here.

Hahaz. Oh yes, peeps, look out for me because i might be able to give you a valentine's day present. OG and Class comes first hor. Oh shit. Hahaz. I have to spend more money thinking about this. Hahaz. I have to be nice... Everyone will get one. I hope. Hahaz EEPS.

Repertoire for Grade 8 Piano: Mozart Sonata, Bach Prelude and Poulenc Nocturne
Repertoire for DipABRSM Violin: Barber Violin Concerto, Mozart Violin Concerto in G Major, Bach Partita No. 2 2-4 movements, Grieg Sonata in C Minor

Still going to add I think. Especially for Dip Piano.

I'm gonna die these two years. Yup.

Oh yes, Xiao Yuan, it's good to see you after so long again =). Hahaz, hope your feet are alright now. Really sorry about it. Thanks for the presents' tips! Hahaz. Have fun in HCI!

Unstability

2005-02-11T21:53:00.000+08:00

I'm saying for the first time this year... That I'm emotionally unstable.

Hahaz.

I'm gonna have a nervous breakdown at this rate.

>_<

Need an air vent.

But my house is not connected to an air-con vent...

Guess I have to vent my sorrows and anger somewhere else...

I'm on the brink of complete meltdown.

Oops

2005-02-10T23:38:00.000+08:00

Sorry King Lun!
So it wasn't you.
But they were talking about good looking guys and one of the girls mentioned your name first. And the chinese high guy responded.

Interesting.

Hahaz.

Sorry for the mix up.

Criterias

2005-02-10T10:51:00.000+08:00

Hahaz.
Shall be lame today!!!

I'm gonna make a list of criterias for my future wife.
Just for the fun of it.
For those who know what's going through my mind as I'm typing this, good for you. If don't, some things are better left unmentioned =P.

1. Rather high ability to carry out intellectual conversations and definitely has persuasive powers.
2. Loves a challenge.
3. Has the same computer gaming intergrity as me(that means she should know how to play)
4. Has a strong sense of determination and willpower.
5. Is charismatic by her out-goingness and isn't afraid to know more people.
6. Academically smart so I won't vomit blood if I were to help her, or that I don't even have to help her at all. =P (She must have been in university at the very least.)
7. Love children AND animals. Can be inclined to either side.
8. Ability to do/play sports is a very helpful thing indeed. Spurs me =P.
9. Musically inclined, or at least played an instrument and did it well before.
10. Loves singing, even if she doesn't dare to sing out loud.
11. Has this sense of confidence(linked to charisma) that makes her so impressive and awe-inspiring.
12. Fiercely independent yet a hopeless romantic. Wants to carve out a career, achieve loads, and yet want to settle down and start a family at the same time. (settle down isn't a must of course =P)
13. Preferably very attractive, at least to me. Hahaz. =) (I've always been biased though =X )
14. Very observant to things around her.
15. Whining is subjective... Depends on time, place and stituation.
16. Knows herself, doesn't pull off "flashy" clothes without having the right curves for it. If she's not of a good figure, she wears modestly and knows how to cover rather than try too hard to show. But if she loves sports then I doubt her inability to do so. =X
17. Compassionate heart, loves to help those in need.
18. Gregarious. Definite must.
19. Character trait shown physically: a beautiful smile. =D (prone to biasness)
20. Believes fiercely in whatever religion she's in, or not in.
21. Stubborness, a definite must. *nods*
22. Optimistic. (I have another name for it though. =P )
23. Has an inner child, loves cartoons as much as me, and loves to really really have fun(like going insane).

I think that's all for now. Hahaz.

Pre CNY

2005-02-08T19:45:00.000+08:00

7 weeks.
If you record the graph it'll be interesting.
Absence in my life doesn't equal absence from mine, instead it gets worse.
I'm such a dreamer.

Anyway, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL. I'll be having 2 entries with that. Hahaz. It's not yet there but I hope everyone's enjoying their reunion dinner as I'm typing this now. I have a few things that I have to ditch...

Pissed Eddison off today by saying he's flirting around. Guess I was just a bit sore that he'd be posting on his blog something bad about me and stuff. If you're reading this, Eddison, I'm sorry for bitching the few times about you. The first words you've ever said to me in our lifetime, was said today. You said "Fuck you lar!" Nice greeting. Yup. Made me kinda realised that the profound hatred we have for each other is quite stupid and childish. I'd like to remove it and get it out of my life. Hope you'll forgive me for all that I've done. Even if you do something horrendously unforgivable, I'll just shut up and let you live your own life. Unless of course, we become friends, though that'd be quite hard considering circumstances... But overall, I'll not ever interfere with your life anymore. It's just pointless to. Hope you can accept my sincere apology.

Another thing would be those who I had hurt or insulted in one way or another. Often I don't really mean it, it's either in a fit of irritation, anger, or disgust or insecurity. It's not a good thing. I'm terribly sorry for doing anything like that. I'm definitely going to be a new person from today.

Oh yes, and those who seriously cannot stand my loud personality and enthu attitude to life, and happily kao beis all the time. Good for you. You missing out on the fun isn't my fault. My participation in things and my enthusiasm allows me to destress and to have fun, so please understand, I'm not messing with you. I'm just trying to be happy. If you don't like it, tell it to my face. If you get irritated when I crack stupid jokes to try to lighten up the mood or actively participate in class discussions and do funny stuff just to destroy any tension, I'm sorry I can't be the person who you would like just because we have a personality clash. I can't please everyone, so if you'd prefer me to please you, would it be fair to others who I'm pleasing? Kao bei-ing as a joke is understandable, but too much of it and serious AP does show immaturity. And yup I do do the same, I know. But at least I'm still trying hard to stop it, though instincts might take over. Think on it.

This morning started with me going to kajiao Colin at his OG area. He wanted me to go there for some purpose, which is to play with the gypsy cards. Similar results again. -_-. Is my life doomed? Hahaz. Anyway, whenever we did it on others the results were always so weird. It's really a wonder. But then again, it takes a magical touch ;). Hahaz kidding.

The sun should give me a high five! Hahaz. High five, sunnie! Hahaz =P

Went for flag raising and sang out loud again. Hahaz. Quite mad, but no one really noticed, quite a lot of people were singing loudly too. Hahaz. Then after a few announcements suddenly there was the instrumental music of chinese new year songs through the PA systems. Apparently, the school thought we would be singing to the music and stuff. Colin, Hon Loong and I were clapping to it, trying to start everyone to clap along. But people too pai mia. -_-. Sigh. School failed in attempt to bring New Year spirit to RJ. Yup.

Anyway, Med Fac had its Chinese New Year Celebration in the parade square. Hahaz. When the emcees were asking why we had to eat fish for new year, Colin ran up to answer that it's because there is Mad Cow Disease and Chicken Flu about. Hahaz. LAME! Super funny and thick skinned. Hahaz. Anyway, the first performance was done by the band Plugged. Wherever You Go by the Calling. Man... They're good. Hahaz the singer is really really good! Hahaz. But not enough of showmanship to really keep crowd interest because the guitar parts weren't flashy. Though they were good, the music was redundant after a while, especially because the un-enthu crowd wasn't singing or anything.

The indian dance was quite nice actually. Though... Hahaz... It's an open comment that two of the dancers are darn hot. Hahaz. Heard it from around, and could very well agree. Hahaz. They're chinese lar, but they were dancing the Indian Dance. But it was good nonetheless =). The Lion Dance was really heart-rendering because the front guy didn't get enough support to kick down the benches and fell down really badly. We were applauding for him when he came back and did it again. He got a bit of phobia the second time but we applauded him again for his courage to try a third time, and he succeeded. It was really heart-warming to see the crowd react as such. =) Who said Singaporeans were cold? They might be un-enthu, but they have hearts of gold! =D

The wushu really showed how pro Justin is! Oh man... You should look at his expressions and the strokes. So vigourous and strong. Though I might not be an expert, or even an amateur, it's quite obvious that he's probably be the best amongst the few. The others seemed a bit reserved, but are still definitely skillful and good. Yup. Wushu gave a good performance.

I left by the time CPS came with a choir to sing, because I was heading to HC! Found that the back gate was locked so I had to go all the way in front of RI to take the bus. Saw King Lun and 3 RGS girls with him doing the exact same thing. Hahaz. I didn't know he was King Lun until we were on the bus and one of the girls said his name. Interesting scenario. Shall not expound. Hahaz.

Reaching HC, I was like "where to go ah?" So Weeyin directed me to the gate a LONG distance away, then a nice indian woman told me to actually go by the second level because the gate was open. Hahaz. Then an RGS girl right next to me and I both ran up to go through the gate.

Met Winnie downstairs and we went to the central square where I met Xin Ling, Yunwei, Mingtse, Pinyun, Wenjun, Chong Guang, Marcus, Vanessa, Melissa, Lihao, Herbert, Ruilin and many many people I know. Hahaz. So fun. =D. Then danced a bit with my mei and left with her class to Choa Chu Kang and watched them take neoprint. Hahaz. The process was fun because of the talking, which is hard to say here. Hahaz. So oh well. =P no dibs! Hahaz.

Then left to go fetch grandma and sister. Had Lou Hei then went to go do gym. Did a hell of a lot. And ran an inclined treadmill. SUPER tiring after a day of a lot of walking and eating. Hahaz. But oh well. Then came home. Details... I doubt there is a need to. But I'm losing weight and I'm happy, though I'm still eating a lot, at least most of it is turning into muskels. Hahaz. *muscles lar*

5 days

2005-02-07T18:48:00.000+08:00

5 days. An insignificant number of days to many. It's just 5 days, but I can feel the strain. Every shadow, every thought goes wilder each day. My heart feels no joy, no sorrow, no pain, no elation. All I feel... Is nothing.

But! I'm still having fun. Hahaz. Today was definitely so.

The morning started out quite nicely. Charles was really nice, started out a new contact list for the OG and brought new year goodies for us! So sweet. Hahaz. Michelle definitely seems much happier. Hope you'll feel better each day! Especially during this New Year period! =D. The OG's having an outing again soon! Can't wait. Hahaz. =D Oh and Choon Hwee like finally came to school early again! Hahaz. She was just as enthu as always and was hoping around like herself. Hahaz.

Repeat of friday's schedule today. Hahaz we had bio first again. Lipids tutorial. Didn't do >_<. But then luckily I did the MCQ first and left the structured for later, without Miss Lee checking. Heng ah. Hahaz. Joshua and Colin were doing the same thing. Damn dots. Hahaz. Then came physics prac again. Hahaz. Went late for it because Colin and I were doing some gypsy card thing I forgot to mention last night. Hahaz. The predictions were quite similar for Colin. Interestingly. And I really really hope that mine... For today's and yesterday's do actually come true. Hahaz. Obstacles are not easy to overcome, but they help to strengthen things. =). Anyway, after we reached physics prac, we were getting bored by the graph drawing things. Sheesh. Sian. Hahaz. But oh well. Got a See Me on my prac 1 for not adding +/- 0.05 to the zero error. Stupid mistake on my part lar, but it's nothing really big luckily.

Drawing of the graphs was quite screwed. Everyone was using about the same scale and some didn't skip numbers so their graphs appeared really really high. Hahaz. Weird lar... Then the second graph we were to draw was also like really hard to estimate. Kai Xuan and I were like complaining, so were Cedric and Wei Jian. Hahaz. Super funny. Hahaz. Then EARLY BREAK AGAIN! Because the teacher knew it's an impossibility for us to finish by the end of the lesson so he let us off early so we could have a break.

Stall 6 food rocks. Hahaz. Love the sweet and sour fish. Super super super nice. Hahaz. And the uncle's really nice too! =D. Jia Hao was damn smart, he bought the plate of rice and mixed dishes like WHEN the bell rang so we waited for him for like 10 whole minutes before we headed to GP. Sunnie, Colin and I then went to the toilet while the others headed into the class, and meanwhile, Jia Hao apparently rushed to class, ahead of like the rest of us. He didn't want to take the blame. -_-. Hahaz. Then when the three of us reached the class, Miss Loh was leaving to get some stuff so Colin shouted "Okay, I am your new relief teacher." The class promptly laughed out loud, with a teacher appearing behind them. Hahaz. Super funny scenario but super embarassing for Colin. Hahaz. But oh well it's not too bad lar... =D. I got B for my personal statement, partly because I was actually a bit the arrogant for one of my paragraphs. *note to self: stop being ego*. Yup. Hahaz. But B's not too bad. Don and Jia Hao said that they both wrote rubbish and got A for it. Hahaz. They were writing things completely NOT heartfelt and they were rushing it. -_-. Great. Hahaz. And I was writing it so painstakingly honestly. -_-. But I got to admit their command of english is better than mine. I was super super naggy with the words. Look at my blog! I tend to use the LONGER way of writing things than the shorter, more precise way. Hahaz. I'm a dragger!

Break time was spent in the class again. But this time doing gypsy cards on Wei Jian, Cedric and Neng Yang. Hahaz. Super funny. Wei Jian kena guys 3 times in a row lor! It was unprecedented today that the King of Hearts appeared in the discard stack. Super weird. Hahaz. Then Wei Jian's King of Hearts was like constantly right next to the King of Clubs. Hahaz. Super funny. We were shouting "Gay!" all around the class. Cedric and Neng Yang had it kinda normal lar, though they were REALLY far from the girls they liked... Hahaz. So what does that mean? I dunno. I appeared really close to a Queen of Hearts at the end again. =D. Hahaz. But 2 blockades this time. Interesting though. Hahaz.

We went for Chem class... Ermm... Kinda boring. Was talking to Gerard about all kinds of stuff. Hahaz. Didn't really try to work hard. Then suddenly we had a quiz! I didn't do the tutorials OR listened during lecture. I was like... Oh shit. Hahaz. But it wasn't too bad lar. Hahaz. Sunnie was suanning us. He didn't have time to check more than once. I'm like wtf? -_-. I should study. Hahaz. But at least I wasn't the only one. Patrick turned around and complained, as did Gerard and Colin. Hahaz. So yeah. I'm not the only one. Hahaz

Skipped Chinese. For rehearsal and the listening session for the Brahms Piano Quartet. We sounded not bad in the practice room, but the moment Mrs Chee appeared, our playing standard dropped like dunnowhat. Something seriously wrong with her, or us. Anyway, she made a lot of criticism of our playing. Mainly aiming at me lar. But the thing is that I was so nervous with her around that I couldn't play well lor. Anyway, our Brahms Quartet isn't that bad lar, considering 2 practices, and we definitely sound better than the recording we had. But of course we still have to work on it. "It's not fast enough" and her telling us to "use the same part of the bow and stroke". I'm like... We're three different instruments, same part of the bow doesn't necessarily equate same bow stroke OR same sound. And blah blah blah. Because we're different INSTRUMENTS. But of course it does help but whatever lar, it's damn dots. I turned off when she was talking a bit out of hand. Yes we do need work, but have faith.

Super tired... Physically. And the fireworks are going on in Chinatown now. Hahaz. Quite cool lar but I'm not watching. Can hear the screams of excitement. Hahaz. Ciao

OOpsadaisies!

2005-02-06T23:39:00.000+08:00

Sorry that I didn't update for like 2 days.

Lotsa stuff happened.

Let's start from Friday's "entry".

4th Feb

Only thing keeping me afloat would be the funkjazz going on behind in the background. I just lost a good friend. Definitely a reason to be sad. But I will get over it. It's amazing how fast you lose good friends when you get new ones. Oh well...

Today started out quite funny. First time I was doing work at the K'Cove. Everyone was promptly shocked. Hahaz. Managed to finish my Bio Tutorial on time, and get away without doing my physics tutorial at all. =X Hahaz. I'm eevviilll. Anyway, for some reason, I keep thinking of really sick things lately. Hahaz. Such as the wrong use of periscope and stuff.... Eeps. >_< I feel myself becoming more and more perversed. Hahaz. That's NOT good. Anyway, the physics teacher is damn funny, but quite stone. Hahaz. Mr Kamel. He's a nice guy =). Miss Audry Lee is a good teacher too. Hahaz. Though she's J3 and my sister's friend, she's good at it =).

Miss Loh is super funny, especially with the ink smudges on her hand while correcting our transparency essays. Hahaz. And she didn't realise. She's really quite a good teacher, just... a bit to the weird side but oh well. Her command of English is definitely better than mine by far. Hahaz. But of course my languages actually are kind of really declining through the years. Hahaz. So there's nothing really much to compare. Hahaz.

Hon Loong took over the Talentime Auditions on his own with When You Say Nothing At All by Ronan Keating. Hahaz. Love that song actually. Colin and I keep singing it when Hon Loong was singing it. Hahaz. Then I even tried to pair in with Hon Loong with my violin. Hahaz. A bit tough but not that bad. My class was slacking in the classroom for the entire break after GP. Because we had our lunch early due to the fact that physics prac ended 40 minutes early. Yup. Hahaz. Fun. And good.

Then came chem... Going through tutorial again and I faked my way out of things again >_< and then chinese... I feel bad because I haven't done any of the homework I should. But oh well that's what I always do anyway... But the lesson was really interesting, was singing to all the songs that were played. So fun. Hahaz. Then after that I went to the canteen to see if I could hang a bit before I headed for jazz. Obviously I wasn't too right, so I just headed to the music room for jazz.

Ended up teaching a J2 how to play the piano. Then jazz started and we had a jazz soloist to come teach Jermyn, Shoujie and I to play jazz chords and stuff. Oh yes and Derrick too. Hahaz. His name is Alvin and he's definitely a superb jazz saxophonist. Hahaz even though he complained that he had only touched his saxophone only 5 times this year. It was the sixth time when he was teaching us. Ionian, Dorian, Phrygian, Lydian, Mixolydian, Aeolian. And I forgot the last one. Hahaz. It's all in my book. Think I impressed the teacher(forgot her name >_<) because she said that I learn the theory really fast. Hahaz. But then it's hard to put it into practical when you haven't done much jazz playing. Only listened it as it is. Super fun to play later on though.

And Jermyn is PRO! Boon is SUPER PRO. They improved a lot since I last heard them. Shit. Pro kias. Same for Daniel Li. Hahaz. ALL THE PROS ALL AROUND ME. Shoujie is obviously super pro so nothing to say. Alvin the saxophonist is SUPER DUH PRO and everyone's just like worshipping him or something. He played Take Five. Hahaz. WAAAAY cool. Then Mark and his electric guitar and double bass. Shows how pro he is. And David... Just plain sick. Though I hope that the other pianists can do as well as him in time. It's hard. I know. >_< I feel the difficulty as well, but let's hope that all of us do become pro yeah? Hahaz.

Got to know Clementine, Yi Han, Kenny and Debra like SUPER LITTLE bit more than before. Hahaz. Clementine said that Kah Yoke and Andris told her about somethings... -_-. No comments. Hahaz. She kinda persuaded me to dance in front of her! Hahaz. Only a bit of n00bified top rock. Hahaz. I really suck >_<. But yeah... Hahaz. Just a tiny bit lar because I was really enjoying the drum and guitar jamming by Boon and Mark. Hahaz. Super cool beats there man. Hahaz.

Then later on, I skipped Photog because I wanted to stay to listen to more jazz and borrowed a jazz CD. Then ka jiaoed Clementine, Kevin and Chang down at the canteen. Got to know Gilyn who also knows De Hui. Hahaz. Interesting things going on in RJ. Hahaz. Then afterwards I was pestering Xin Yi and Daniel because I was horrendously bored. Hahaz. Xin Yi looks better in RGS uniform! Then again... Realised that quite a lot of girls actually do. Hahaz. Weird. But anyway, Xin Yi still can't do chem and was doing bio while Daniel was doing chem. Mass Spectrum. So sian one lor. Derrick said that a few of the questions are useless. Hahaz. I think I shall have to agree when I start doing. Hahaz.

Learnt quite a bit of electric guitaring from Daniel later on when I took out his guitar and started to play with it. Feels so great to be playing a guitar. Hahaz. But then again it always feels great to be playing a musical instrument. Always gets me so transfixed into it...

Finally Daniel and Xin Yi had to go do something(*nudge*... what is it ah?) and I just went to take a taxi. SUPER LONG WAIT. Half an hour to find a taxi to go on and go. And there was this stupid queue constantly getting jacked by people who just run to the taxis. Unreasonable people. But oh well, I'm a good boy, I lined up =D. Hahaz. But pissed my mum off going home so late...

Oh and I have to thank my dear mei for being so sweet and nice. And my bestie shennie! Hahaz. =D Love you two! Hahaz. It's great to have such good friends.

5th Feb

Spent the morning doing a savings account for my sister and me. Quite interesting, we were getting taught on structured bank accounts and how it works. I learnt quite a bit about economics and links to the world stage and stuff. Hahaz. Super cool. I think I can understand this more if I started reading economics books... Hahaz.

I have to train myself to be more self-discplined and stuff. Too lazy to do work in the interval between going to SYO and coming back from the bank. Hahaz. If not how am I going to make investments which make me money in the future? Hahaz. Because TIME IS MONEY! Lol...

Then came SYO. We started sectionals late. The violas only started at like 2.15. But it was rather productive. Realised how slack I am... NEVER practised and don't really care to get all the notes. Ever. Hahaz. But Mr Lim was looking from above. Hope he doesn't think I'm a lousy player. I like second desk. Hahaz. I would love to be in the first too though. But oh well. I'm too competitive in this already. Should be more relaxed. Hahaz. But anyway, Zhao Han and I were like darn loud, as was Wei Cheng, and we were sitting so close to each other, so Zhao Han and I were moved to the other side. Hahaz. I realised that Zhiwei's really getting REALLY good at viola. I mean REALLY REALLY good. Hahaz. She's turning into the next Zhao Han... Perhaps she'll be the viola principal in 2 years' time. =D. Hahaz. That'd be cool. J1 principal. But then again, Zhao Han might get principal, so sec 4 principal seems EVEN cooler. Hahaz. But oh well.

Sectionals were productive, created a better group. But then the viola assessments were really scary. PLUS I was just playing simple Telemann 3rd and 4th movement. Hahaz. Zhao Han was playing the pro-ded Walton Concerto, and so many people were playing harder pieces. While Christine and I were stuck with Telemann. Overplayed piece. But anyway, Mr Lim commented my bow stroke is good and likes my viola. Hahaz *looks proud* =D. Hahaz. Hope I did well to him. Hahaz. Don't want to be banished further than 3rd desk...

Then went for dinner at Genki Sushi at United Squares. Hahaz. SUPER POWERFUL WASABI. Super shuang. Choked once because I was too hurried when Mr Chan called me. Hahaz. Kept coughing. >_< But luckily Mr Chan was patient =D. Hahaz. Having violin on next Sat at 5... Gotta leave OG outing early. Sigh. Hahaz. The sushis were great. Hahaz. But the surcharge was REALLY REALLY high. Upped the price by at least 10 bucks. Hahaz. Eeps.

Came home. Watched TV. Hahaz. Rewatched the Guru. Super funny and nice movie. So heartwarming. Hahaz. I wish love was that simple.

6th Feb

Woke up at 8.30 today and went to gym at 9. Went mad again, though I had to skip the cross trainer today because I didn't have enough time. Started off with level 4 inclined walk at 6km/h, then upped it to 8.5 at the 2.30 minute. I then proceeded to jog for 17.30 minutes and then dropped the number down to 6 again and boosted it back up at 22.30 to 10.5 to finish the running. Hahaz. 3.5km with level 4 inclined and energy left. Feels good. Though shirt was totally soaked.

Then did almost a whole circuit. Did rotary arms at 50 lbs, seated chest at 80 lbs, lats at 90 lbs, leg press at 55kg, leg extension and curl at 50 lbs and rope triceps at 35. Then also did level 2 inclined sit-ups. Hahaz. TIRING!!!

Then went to shower and rushed the Wei Yuan's house for Brahms' Piano Quartet.

We really improved a lot since the last time. Hahaz. In tune and in time and the music making was so good! Hahaz. Chee Ang was damn funny lar, make fun of us and helped us so much at the same time. But I feel quite bad because the only time I ever play the piece is during rehearsals. But we still did well =D.

Had lunch at 1. Wei Yuan's parents treated us to Lau Yu Sheng and a whole of dim sum. Oh man... Super ex meal. So the 4 of us felt really bad and bought a bottle of sweeter wine to give to them. Drank a bit of greek sweet wine while buying the stuff later on at Carrefoure. Super nice. Hahaz. Especially the one with 15% alcohol. Hahz. I'm an alcoholic. Not really lar... But I know how to enjoy it.

And then there was a barbecue for Wei Yuan and Alicia's OG at Wei Yuan's place. Decided to crash it. Hahaz. Enjoyed my time there with Colin and made quite a few new friends. Got DRENCHED by Delwin because he was trying to impress his girls on how "fun" he is. Almost wanted to kill him for getting my phone wet. Lucky for him it's still alright. But I got completely drenched, worst out of the lot. Smartass. -_-. Oh and Pei Yi is pretty good with the girls. Hahaz. And Wei Yuan became the poor servant of the girls! Hahaz. And Jing Wen and Yining were listening to Colin and I sing all the songs. Hahaz. Heidi(Colin's sister, 19) was joining in the singing. Hahaz. So fun. Didn't eat much except for a few satays, a few chicken wings. Yup that was it. Hahaz. And then had a birthday cake for 2 of the guys(one's Colin, forgot the other's name). And played some card fortune telling game. Hahaz. Quite true to my scenario... Or so I hope for the second reading. Hahaz. =X. Hahaz. But as Heidi said, I'm very faithful. Only one Queen card appeared in the last stack. Hahaz. =D. Lame. It's only a card game. Hope it's true though. I'm faithful. Hahaz.

Super tired now. Hahaz. Just got back so late, kena nagging. Yup. Hahaz. Gotta sleep now.
Bye!

Lost in Music

2005-02-03T21:58:00.000+08:00

Wheeee... Feels damn great. After a stressful week, immersing myself in almost non-stop violin/viola playing feels great. Especially with good players. SYO rocks. Hahaz. We're sounding better and better each time we rehearse. Lim Soon Lee is a very good conductor for us. Though some might doubt that he would be able to do as much with the winds because he himself is a strings player, but I do hope he'll bring us to the great standard we need and want.

=) Today was a great day except for one thing. And Michelle, if you're reading this... Be strong=). I'm starting to accept "not knowing" as a way of life. I'm used to trying to get to know everything. It's time I stepped back into oblivion. I'm so oblivious nowadays. Hahaz. But that's NOT exactly good... Hahaz. Advice to myself: Don't overuse words, they'll lose their value to others though they may not to you.

Edited the lyrics over and over again. Just thought of new lyrics and I'm gonna change. And I'm gonna add a bridge and stuff. Hahaz. The song's gonna turn out great... Sweet, meaningful song. Hahaz. I'm an amateur ah... Don't blame me for being lousy and taking such a long time to compose a simple song. Still finding the chords. G, D, C, Bm, Dm. What else? I'm trying to find. Yup. Hahaz. I'll take my time. I have a guitar at home anyway. Will do everything this weekend. Hahaz. I'll take this as my week's project.

Mrs Chee wants to listen to the Brahms Quartet. Oh yes, Mr Chan commented it's a very nice piece =D. That sounds good. Hahaz. We'll have to play it for her on Monday at 3. Sian -_-.
Anyway, I just found out that Grieg Sonata in C minor's the one in DipABRSM, not G major. G major's the one in grade 8. I rock. But the G major's second movement is not bad... And I'm starting to get to really know how to play as an artist, not a student =)*compliments from Mr Chan*. Super happy. Hahaz. And I'm playing 3rd and 4th movement of Telemann Viola Concerto. Again. Christine's playing the 1st and 2nd. We'll see how it goes. Hahaz.

Youth Party Committee has now reached 27. I wonder where it'll stop. We'll have to get ACJC, NJC and AJC people. NYJC already got one already. Thanks Ying Hong. Hmm... I'll try to source out more.

This morning... Was quite stone lar, was just laming around again with OG. Hahaz. Then flag raising was quite funny because the classes being checked were 1S06H and 1S06J. 6I got away without anything. Hahaz. Funny. Should here how they sighed in relief.
Lectures... were boring. Was listening to MP3s with Colin basically the whole time. Maths had something very bad happening. The lecturer got pissed that we took so long to settle down that he pulled Alvin, Marcus, Chenwei and another AC guy from 1S03Q down to scold them. Bad scene. Colin and I stopped listening to the MP3 from then on. Too scary. Hahaz.

Then came break time. Hahaz. Which was OFFICIALLY the most humiliating one because Don and I were dressing up as White Chicks. Yup. Sick. Hahaz. Will post the pictures up in time. Beware... It'll hurt your eyes. Hahaz. Ian came by and "Yi Zhe!? Okay, I don't want to know you anymore." Gwenlyn reacted quite drastically as well. Hahaz. Basically everyone who came by were just... Staring. Hahaz. Don and I were just so humiliated. Hahaz. But it was fun lar. We had powder all over our faces, eye shadows and make up. I know more about make up than Rachel and Vivian put together. That's not good for all three of us. Hahaz. Oh... And Vivian if you're reading this, your prom dress looked good =P. Hahaz *I'm evil*.

Chinese was... Interesting. We were just reading articles from the newspaper. I have to finish my homework man. But I'm so shagged now. I'm dead lar. >_<. What a bio rep AND chinese rep. I never do any of those work. And I still have to finish physics prac. Hahaz. Damn it!!!!

PE was fun. Hahaz. We had to sprint 300m and jog 300m, alternating 100m each. Hahaz. By the end of it we were playing soccer. My class was on the field. Super uneven skill levels for the two sides man. All the good soccer players save for Justin Tan, Yi Liang, and Jia Hao were on the other side. The teacher AND the only two soccer CCA guys are in the other team. The scariness. Hahaz. But we had this 3 on 1 thing at near the end of the game. Hahaz. Mok, Gerard and I were waaaaaay up in front after Justin passed the ball to Mok and we were only up against Patrick. Hahaz. Mok just kicked in the goal. Super cool. Apparently Wei Jian got hurt. I didn't know. Hope he's alright >_<. Sunnie's a really good soccer player. Yup. Super onz and super zun. Hahaz. Pro liao... I'm so lousy. *tsk tsk tsk* Hahaz. My shoes suck! I keep sliding PAST the ball. Like I was supposed to stop nicely in front of the ball, then I suddenly SLIDE so far, that I missed it by one foot. >_< Leon then took it away easily. My shoes... are not meant for playing soccer lar. Hahaz.

Okay.
I'm officially D.E.D. DEAD. Yup. Good night!

2005-02-01T20:42:00.000+08:00

My class is so darn fun. Hahaz. We were singing for physics and break after PE. Hahaz. Super fun. All the people giving us funny looks. But it rocks still because everyone's so cool! Hahaz. Waaaaaaay fun. We sang a whole barrage of songs, and I could notice quite a lot of people singing along with us. There were a few kao-bei-ers who deserve to be shot for simply being so "sit there do nothing but kao bei". Annoying.

Got my skirt for the "White Chicks" impersonation. It's.... 10cm long. NICE MINISKIRT. >_<. And I have to bring a singlet tomorrow to let it kena mutilation to look like some BIMBO ACT. Man. I'm gonna be sooooooooooooooooooooo humiliated. But do I care? Doubt it. Hahaz. Me and Don Loo are gonna be soooo fine looking. Yup. Hahaz...

Rachel got a new hairstyle! Hahaz. Not quite her usual style but it looks not bad actually. Hahaz.

And oh yeah, Colin listened to the Brahms Piano Quartet and found it quite raw. I couldn't agree more. Hahaz. I was STILL sight reading. Hahaz. But not that bad lar... Just need to notice my tone and intonation more than anything else. Hahaz. Quite fun lar.

Then Colin and I took MRT to City Hall, where he went to Raffles Place to go to Jurong East to do something similar to what I did. Go gym. Hahaz. I'm SUPER SUPER SUPER ACHING NOW. Hahaz. After lats in school, total chest, rotary arms, rope triceps, leg press, leg curl and seated abdominals in the gym, I'm officially SHAGGED. Oh yes did I mention? Our PE teacher made us run 800m in 3 mins, 400m in 1 min 30, 200m in 40 s and 100 in 20 s. And whole series of quadriceps strengthening programme in the midst of each run. TIRING. Oh yes... and my class is mad, we were supposed to JOG 800m and we ran it in little over 4 mins. Crap. Hahaz. Then Lee Ying and Youmin saw me and went "shit!". Is it just me or do they belittle me? Hahaz.

Anyway... I composed a new intermediate for the song and redid the words. Sounds so much better now. Hahaz. Perhaps I'll post it up on this blog soon. It'll soooo rock. Hahaz. =)

Song Composing

2005-01-31T22:25:00.000+08:00

Man...
I just composed a song for like 3 and a half hours.
Hahaz
Thanks Kenny for your advice.
Gonna sing it in school tomorrow I think.

Today was a pretty uneventful day. Hahaz. Other than Jeremy and Alvin wearing TCHS, Lizhan wearing SJI and Shirin and Michelle wearing RGS being the most interesting sights of the day. Hahaz. Those "TCHS dudes" look not bad in them. Hahaz. As well as RGS. Lizhan looks more suave when in SJI too. Hahaz. It's a good change for all. Hahaz..

Some TCHS bugger went to pull my sweater today when I was just having fun. "Wanna act cute is it?" was the reason. Wanted to wack him. I have no idea what gave me my numbness in feeling, even anger. Hahaz. Perhaps...

Hon Loong made us sign up for Talentime! So it's me, him, Sunnie, Colin, Qizhao, Kevin, Rachel and Vivian going to sing Stand by Me tomorrow for audition. Hope we get through. Hahaz. Dunno if we'll make it. Will be playing accoustic guitar =) and singing. Hahaz. YAY!

2005-01-30T18:15:00.000+08:00

Today had nothing happening and A WHOLE LOT happening. Hahaz. Irony? Life's filled with that.

Firstly, I shall hereby state that I'm officially a monk. I'll be counsellor for all you lost souls of love and hopeless romantics. But no requests of getting to know a girl "just for you" or "trying to matchmake me" or I'll just wack you. Hahaz. I've rid myself of all evil. Yup. Hahaz.

Noticed a guy who wore the same specs as me on my way home. Hahaz. Kinda cool, because we're kinda both the "bigger build" though he has muscles... Quite a lot of it... So it's quite flattering. But of course we didn't talk lar... It's just my observation. Drank a tasteless soya bean on the way home as well. It's weird... Hahaz. But oh well... 70 cents to buy something to quench my thirst is not too bad. Hahaz. Though it was absolutely tasteless. And oh, my trainer asks me to eat more fish and protein. Hahaz. PROTEIN DIET! No lar... I'm not so crazed.

Got a huge compliment today when my neighbour commented that I slimmed down quite a bit. *smirk*. And SUPER happy when I saw that I'm only 20% for body fat mass. At this rate I can reach 17% in just 3 more weeks! Hahaz I better work hard! =) Ran like 3 km in 20 minutes today... Almost DIEDED. Hahaz. SUPER tiring. Then I accidentally hit the stop button which kinda saved my life, and went to walking and running soon by the 22nd minute. Was super tired. But I accelerated into 11.2 when I was in the last minute or so, completing 3.5km for today. Hahaz. So shuang. Oh yes, 3 km in 20 minutes is because I walked at 6 and ran at 9.5. I'm freaking mad. HUGE leap. Luckily I didn't go pale or light-headed though when I was doing weights I seemed so. Hahaz realised my quadriceps cannot make it, 50 pounds only! And my arm extensions was a misley 40 pounds. What crap is that? But my arms were tired and so were my quadriceps, but that's just crap. And for the assisted bench press I only did a freaking 20kg thing and I couldn't do both reps of 10! Didn't complete the second. I'm crap lar. Hahaz can't even do the assisted pull ups' last set because I was too tired. ONLY 6 and I didn't do it. Crap crap crap. And it was assisted! And oh yes, my intensive abdominal workout was freaking tiring also. I'm quite weak. Hahaz. And I need to split my triceps. Hahaz. It looks like just a clump covered by fats now. Hahaz. I'm getting into the "bodybuilding" fit. Yup. Hahaz. Madness.

Anyway, saw Michael come in as well. Hahaz. He was working without the trainers. Then the senior trainer took him in. Hahaz. Cool. Then we left to swim for a while, then we went for the sauna. Hahaz. I slipped and fell while going to get my card. Now I have a nice half-abrasion-half-cut thing on my right forearm. Hurts like crap. Hahaz. Anyway, back to the sauna, the first time I entered the pool at 42 degrees celcius, I was like "omg that's freaking hot". Little did I know, that later on, jumping into the other pool at 18 degrees and jumping back into the 42 degrees is the whole point of the thing. Hahaz. And the coldness was BAD. REALLY bad. I was like freaking numb. Hahaz. But it was super fun. Especially ducking my head in. Hahaz. Now I know why Hong Shen wanted to do it. And Alvin the trainer advised me to too. Hahaz. Michael had to leave early so I was chatting with Mr David Kan. Hahaz. Another new friend of mine. Apparently he's the retired CEO of Crocodile and just donated a whole lot of money to the Tsunami victims. I was talking to a philantrophist! Hahaz I feel honoured. =) Got his no. Hahaz. And I told him about the Zouk thing... Perhaps we could get sponsorship from his son for the shirts for the party. Hahaz. It'll be way cool. But I better not test my luck. He's a great guy and I wouldn't wanna trifle with a powerful man like him. But it's just an idea. He's really nice and a devout christian. Had a bit of talk about religions with him. Hahaz. I'd like to get to know him better. Smart man plus great clout. Good person to follow. Hahaz.

Got his number and left for Music Essentials. Realised my stomach was grumbling as I went there. Hahaz. After finally buying the music and getting my new Music Essentials card *beams*, I ate Old Chang Kee's. Hahaz. Fishball and curry puff(my fav). Hahaz. And then took 174.

174 changed its route and I thought I was going the wrong way!!! Mistake mistake mistake. Hahaz. Then I walked/ran another 2 km. Hahaz. Smart. Hahaz. But it was fun. Noticed a lot of interesting things on the way, like the ugly habits of Singaporeans, leaving litter all around, the stickiness of the Chinatown floors, the audacity of some Singaporeans with FLABS, and how some motorists are really smart. Hahaz. And the lovely Chinese New Year atmosphere(lovely my foot). SUPER crowded and tons and tons of food all around. Hahaz. Quite fun but intimidating. Definitely darn messy. Hahaz. It was a mistake, but it was a beautiful mistake. Really makes me think...

Everything reminds me of something. My whole mind is interlinked by only one thing. That's just sad. Hahaz. But I moved on...

Oh yes... Annabel was super playful today. Hahaz. If you're reading this, you still owe me the last digit!!! Hahaz. =P And Ying Hong? Naughty? Hahaz never would've expected...

YC Meeting and SYO

2005-01-29T20:11:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 8 this morning. Hahaz. But was still so tired I slumbered again after a while all the way till 10. I'm a pig. Hahaz. Yup I know. But I'm still extremely tired as I'm typing this.

None of the people I asked to go for the YC meeting came... Sucks. Andris had concerto auditions, and she got it(Congrats Andris!), and Pak Tao was at Sentosa, and Grace couldn't make it either because she couldn't get out of the house. What a sad sad situation. Hahaz. But it was okay, because Zhi Peng had like so many of his friends along that the whole thing became a Dunman reunion. Hahaz. But the number was good. 17 people. Hahaz. Only 1 RI, 1 MG, 2 Cedar and 1 RG people there. Sad sad sad. Hahaz. But it was fun. Tania was there too! She's in SAJC now. Hahaz. Would've gone there if I didn't appeal. Oh well. She looks quite different in home clothes! Hahaz. Couldn't recognise her at first, because her hair was down and I didn't dare to guess too much. Hahaz but it was her. Quite cool. She looks better than I remembered. Hahaz. Pretty sure she's pretty popular in SAJC now. Hahaz.

Then we went up to have a meeting with Mr Lam. So ideas were thrown, and apparently I was doing most of the talking(again). I'm such a wanna-be. Dunno lar... It's good to have ideas and be active. I'm the co-ordinator with Ying Hong from HCI. Hahaz. It's gonna be quite cool. Co-ordinating so many people. Hahaz. I'm gonna be stressed out this year man. Let alone next year. Hahaz.

Shirin was super fast in realising the need for taking of minutes for the meeting. Have to really thank her for that. I think she was the most organised amongst all of us. Hahaz. Tania, Phae Sia and I were having discussions on what to do about the live band thing while the meeting was on. Hahaz. Quite evil. Oh well... But I really hope we do get to send a live band...

ZOUK! Hahaz... 25 bucks... Hopefully it'll happen. I believe it will. As long as Ying Hong and I don't screw up. Hahaz. But DO GO! July 3rd. Yup. Wonderful experience. We haven't got the name OR design yet. So we'll see. =)

Went for SYO late because I was slacking at YC for waaaaaay too long. Koped a curry puff and ran to my mum's car. Hahaz. Got to know quite a few new friends. Feels fuzzy inside.

When I went to SYO everyone was looking at me. Hahaz. Yup only latecomer. Hahaz. I had better write a letter explaining why I was late. The piece they asked us to sightread was so insanely fast and I was so insanely tired that I couldn't play half the notes. I was feeling super heng that at least I got the gist of it quickly and was on time. Hahaz. And oh yes, Jonathan Lim was tapping too loudly, so Rayner asked him to stop tapping, and Jonathan exclaimed "Fuck you" back. Hahaz. Super funny situation. Hahaz

Oh well... Super super super super super tired. Father called back from abroad just now. Didn't get to know what's going on but I think he's enjoying himself. My mum made brownies again! Hahaz and she's making pineapple tarts again. =) Love eating those. Hahaz. I'm gonna be FAT! Going to gym tomorrow so hopefully I'll lose all those.... EEEWWW. Hahaz.

Wonder

2005-01-28T20:53:00.000+08:00

Wore AC pants together with RI shirt today. Hahaz. Super funny when I was sitting amidst the AC guys and expressed that I was from RI during Jazz. Hahaz. Nice reactions by all those people who were bloody shocked to find me in an attire they're not quite accustomed to. Hahaz. Kevin commented that "It just looks wrong." Even Ivee was commenting that(but then again she said it only AFTER Kevin said it.). Hahaz. Hon Loong was bloody shocked, and apparently from behind I look like Gerrard Gan. Hahaz. Funny.

Still wearing AC uniform now. Hahaz. Today I lamed around AGAIN the whole day. Yes. I officially am one of the lamest guys in class. And I realised how stressed I'll be throughout this year if I keep up with my pace of life. Jazz, Chamber and Photog are going to be heavy, especially if I want ANY committee positions in them at all, and being bio rep and chinese rep at the same time isn't very good... Two of the toughest jobs actually. AND I have the youth day extravaganza which I hope I'm heading. Plus another few things which I know will definitely come and stress the heck out of me but I have no idea what yet.

I'm already stressed, lonely, and miserable. Somebody saaaaaaaavvvvvvvveeeeeeeee me.

Did stupid things last night. Shall not explain. I thought I had a springboard. Though realising that the springs were broken, I still cleared the hurdle. But after clearing that hurdle, I found myself in front of a bigger hurdle. I'm bruised, battered and tired. What am I going to do? Why does it hurt? Just a few sentences on a special day, which could be everything is situations had changed. I'm speaking gibberish. Hahaz...

Singing too many love songs lately. We were singing during physics practical, chem tutorial and a whole lot of times. Hahaz. The singing class. Super fun. Too bad we're not joining talentime. Oh yes Mark said that talentime is a waste of his talent AND his time. Couldn't agree with him more. Hahaz...

Moonflower is the root of evil. Hahaz. I'm talking gibberish again.

I think I wanna compose a song for guitar and voice. Hahaz. Love ballad. Yes I'm mad over it. Singing too many of it DURING lessons already. Hahaz.

I'm going to fall dead from all these. I'm bruised, battered, and I desperately need a friend who can understand. At this rate of rattling this is the only thing I've got. Hahaz. But I can't say too much can I? =X

Losing hope
Is the only way to go.

For if you try and try again,
Yet never succeed
Isn't it more painful
More searing?

Do what you need
Not what you want
The path is there
For you to choose,
To carve out on your own.

- Yi Zhe

Two days

2005-01-27T21:25:00.000+08:00

Okay... Yesterday I was too darn tired and too pissed with the comp to rewrite another blog post which was darn long. Hahaz. Stupid. Lost a poem AND a whole list of funny things which happened. Darn. Hate it when that happens.

Anyway, yesterday started pretty much without a hitch or anything. Wednesdays are always the slack days. Though I really can't remember what happened DURING school hours though. Hahaz. Weird. I think I'm too zonked out now. Oh yes... Colin kept koping my sweater, as he did today, to fight the subzero temperatures of LT1. Yup. LT1 is sooooo freaking cold. Hahaz.

Also had a rehearsal with Chen Jie and Alicia(Alisha?) for the Brahms Piano Quartett. Hahaz. Sight reading was pretty bad especially when we came to the double stops. Oh man... Realised how out of tune I am on BOTH the violin AND the viola. Need to practise more already. Yup. Hahaz. I wanted to go for archery but thought that I shouldn't pon another rehearsal for Chamber, so I didn't go for archery. Anyway, I won't have much time right? BUT Miss Ku couldn't make it for rehearsal so I was there to "enjoy" sectionals! OH MAN. Hahaz. I don't like sectionals... Especially for sightreadable pieces. Oh well.

After chamber, I didn't know what to do, so I went with Glen to the canteen, hoping to hitch a ride to the MRT from his mum. Then I met Daniel Li and Xin Yi. Again. And this time both of them were heading off to the library. Since I was horribly bored and didn't want to go home, I decided to join them. We went to the library and it was basically a suanning session for both Xin Yi and Daniel. Hahaz I didn't get suanned much because I was busy hugging the stupid COLD pillar and trying to jump off the ledge off the second floor of the library. Hahaz. And Xin Yi made Daniel smuggle in an apple for her to eat and she was threatening to throw the apple core at me each time I made fun of her. Hahaz. Luckily for me she didn't. Was teaching her chem tutorial stuff which I didn't even do myself. Ironic? Definitely. Hahaz. We spent two hours there, wasting it completely, and another hour in the canteen.

In the canteen Daniel was SWARMED by a whole bunch of J2 girls... Including, Heidi, Sherry and Bernice, the dancers from J2. Hahaz. Seriously hilarious how popular he is. Hahaz. Then Shi Haur came by and joined us to "do work". That is... if any work was done.

We then left to eat dinner and Long John's. Met OCJ on the way there. Hahaz. Good to see that he's still very much well and he's still a good teacher. Hahaz. Only thing is that I can tell that he's quite stressed. Hahaz. Hope things will get better. =)

It's quite funny that on my way home by cab, Shi Haur and I were talking quite a bit and the taxi driver thought we were good friends. Hahaz. And we just barely knew each other for a while! Hahaz. Cool. But last night was quite bad because I had to practise my violin so I had to rush home. By the end of the day I felt half-dead. Now I'm feeling like almost completely dead. I'm that tired.

Today the PA system spoilt and we had to sing the national anthem without it. At first NO ONE started singing at all and I could see Jia Lun only barely mouthing it. So I decided to try to sing with him. Quite hilarious. I started everyone singing *looks proud* and I was pretty darn loud. For a good reason too. Hahaz. Suddenly everyone followed my pulse and stuff. Hahaz. Felt quite cool. Then the TCHS guys from the class next to mine started asking me if I was patriotic and whether I want to join talentime. Oh man. The SUAN! Hahaz. But oh well. It was still quite cool.

Oh yes... Keep meeting Zi Xi around in school. Hahaz. Damn funny. Plus we have the same phones! So it gets freaky for her. And I scared her quite a no. of times by saying hi to her when she's right in front of me and completely not noticing me. Hahaz. So funny. And I scared a lot of people through the same way actually. Apparently, many people can't recognise me. Hahaz. At least on sight.

Violin lesson went pretty not bad. Hahaz. Playing Grieg Sonata now. Tough man. Hahaz. Wonder how I'm going to cope with Barber AND Mozart violin concertos. Bach partita isn't that easy either. So oh well, see you in my coffin. Hahaz

SYO... STONED for most of the time. Was wearing PE and my sweater. Hahaz... A lot of people were commenting that sweater looks cool and SHUXIANG says I look cute in it. GAY. Hahaz. No lar he's just being super suanning. Hahaz.

Man. I'm SOOOOOOOO tired. And I just made a fool out of myself. Hahaz.

I'm a BLOCKhead.

Yup.

Yay!!

2005-01-25T21:49:00.000+08:00

Jaaazzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!
Hahaz
Damn heng I got in =)
Think I barely got in.
BUT!
HAPPY!!!!!!!
FLY MY TO THE MOON! Hahzz
Yup I'm mad.

Whine

2005-01-25T19:49:00.000+08:00

Should I lament about loss of sentiments? Apparently not, for accountability doesn't lie on me. But sometimes, when things go one way, things just seem so bad for you.

But! Life still goes on. Persistance is the key to anything. And I had better persist in my workout programme. I already broke it by not going to gym right now, but then again, I overworked today in school during PE(teacher killed us). Let's see. One round 2:20, next 2:10, then 2:00. Then we do jumping up the steps, and go run another 2:00, then do the repetition of the first one, PLUS 10 crunches(10 crunches here are like useless), and then go run 1.20-40 for 350m. Hahaz. Madness. THEN we had to sprint up the hill. My shin area muscles were like dying already, and my calves were dying, and there I was, sprinting up. And great, the second to reach for each pair had to do 10 pushups, did it BOTH times. >_< Then did lats rep of 12 at 60 pounds without a bloody chair. After that, walking to the canteen, I had cramps on BOTH my calves. Ouch.

Anyway, Colin felt really really sick, and light-headed. His face went completely white, and I bought his brunch for him and didn't get anything myself, ending up in me having an empty stomach later on.(Felt really bad) But feels really good when I realised that Colin is a changed person from what I knew of him before this year. Always thought he was a drifter(coined term from him)... Now I really notice the huge change in him. I think it's really great. He has a goal in life and he's being a better person for himself. It's remarkable and I wish I could do something similar, like change my whole life and be a better person. Oh wait. I supposed I did... But the change isn't that marked yet. I shall have to make it BIG, HUGE, IMPOSSIBLY GIGANTIC.

Anyway, we, Sunnie and I, were singing in maths tutorial, Qing Fei De Yi. Hahaz. Nengyang was commenting that it was insanely in tune. Hahaz. Way funny. Didn't copy any quotes today, nothing really that entertaining, though Ms Loh was... really loving politics. Then again, I'm usually the one starting on it by asking questions on it. Hahaz. Stupid me.

Jazz auditions was way fun. First was Daniel Li and me trying to harmonise and me trying to fill in for him, then was the actual audition. I screwed up. My fill-ins weren't exactly on time AT ALL(it was a tiny bit too fast) and yeah, I lost it in the end. Then when he started to play chords, I was trying to do all the notes, then screwed it quite a bit because I GOT LOST, and just let him continue on his chords. Hahaz. BUT then came the saviour. I was to do an impromptu improvisation with Daniel on the guitar, playing the chords. I started play a melody in jazz. SUPER SUPER SUPER nervous. But when I came down, some people were commenting that they liked my improv =). But whether I get in is another question. Daniel Li did really great. I guess I screwed up his part a bit by being me, but oh well, hope he didn't mind. Anyway, his improv was not bad too, really liked it. Guess he's really too darn pro. Hahaz.

Got to know a whole bunch of new friends from there. Xinyi, Ivee(refounded friend), Hui Min, Yi Wei, Maxine, Amy Tan. Super fun being extremely lame. Hahaz. Really enjoyed the jazz auditions and the time spent there. =)

Reached home at like 8+. Oh man... Hahaz. Super tired. Shall sleep earlier tonight, but I have to wait till 12 to wish Christine happy birthday. But beforehand, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTINE. That is if you ever come to this blog X). Hahaz.

Nothing,
Not the highest mountain,
Not the deepest valley,
Not the widest ocean,
Can keep me,
From wanting you.

- Yi Zhe

I think I belong to song writing as well =X

Brightness

2005-01-25T01:20:00.000+08:00

Daylight,
Dawn breaks.

Down the beach,
Dons her soul,
Deep in thought,
Depth beyond all.

Darkness despair,
For brightness comes,
Bringing her,
Into eternal bliss.

- Yi Zhe

I'm mad about poems!

This is a sin

2005-01-25T01:03:00.000+08:00

A flash in a pan,
A split second occurence,
Cannot define,
Cannot explain,
Cannot substantiate;

The wondrous moments,
The remarkable experiences,
I have shared.

A leap forward,
A step back,
A tangle,
A web,
A tear,
A fragment of my heart.

Life is just such a game,
And this round,
I can't afford to lose.

My world has crumbled,
And the sole way,
Of bringing it back,
Is to hope and pray,
For a success,
To heal thy soul.

- Yi Zhe

Poem overdose!

What is...

2005-01-24T23:55:00.000+08:00

What is love?
What is hatred?
What are sins?
What are virtues?

Morals bound by society,
Ethics bound by laws,
Expressions bound by PAP,
Love bound by all.

If I could,
If I may,
If the chance,
Presents itself,
I will show,
My passion,
My heart,
To you,
Once more.

- Yi Zhe

I think some people will be laughing at me trying to be poetic. I'm really understanding what does "don't really care what you think" means. Hahaz. As long as I don't talk about you, there's nothing really to worry about anyway. However, if I do... I'll be terribly sorry when I read it again. Do give me time yeah? Hahaz thanks. =)

Slackerism!

2005-01-24T19:48:00.000+08:00

Slacked the whole day today, and haven't done ANY homework. First 3 months is supposed to be about fun... Kinda. But the competition's strong I know. I'll read my notes, but sheesh... HOMEWORK!? Hahaz. Both my bro and sis, excellent scorers in their academics, told me that the first 3 months SHOULD and WOULD be for fun. It's so slack anyway. Hahaz. So I shall just understand most things, hand in a few worksheets and... End of it. Though I have to do bio though. I'm the bio rep X).

These 4 weeks of school, have been extremely stressful, especially from the 2nd week on. Hahaz. Some people might know what reasons, but it's pretty much all about what's happening in school. Yup. Oh yes, and I realised something really quite stupid, I'm getting to know more guys than girls in JC. That's absolutely phenomenal because it's going against the norm. But then again, since when was I normal? Hahaz.

Speaking about being abnormal, I'm known for STICKING to many CCAs, and I shall this year with 6 CCAs, with plans to start one. My father pushed me to go try to establish one. Perhaps you all will be able to see me one day with a CCA that I would just die to join in but doesn't exist. Yup, that's the CCA. Guess what it is?

Hahaz. I'm really starting to love RJ. Though I think I did something really bad today by giving a sarcastic comment. Think I pissed the girl off a bit. But then again, I could apologise later on, but first impression's more important so >_<. I hope I'm not dead. My reputation isn't exactly great already. I realised that if I were to actually go try for elections for Council, I'll probably end up with a NEGATIVE poll vote. Yes. That bad. Oh well. Sucks to be me? More of sucks to be them =X. Hahaz. Kidding. My life's just... Unique.

Oh yes. I'm aiming to be a wonderful person. I started the change from yesterday(yes I know I pissed someone off with that sarcastic comment, but I shall learn to be better). Lamed around so much today. And sang the school anthem at the top of my voice. Hahaz. Everyone was so amused, because I really sang with ultimate zest. Don't really know what's coming over me. I think I'm just going mad from the stress. What stress? Don't ask me, I have no idea as well(Am I good at lying?).

And oh yes, started quoting the funny jokes within class today. Nothing really that sick yet, but hilarious nonetheless. Shall post it on Glacialphoenix's quotes blog. Do click the link! It's hilarious. I'm gonna post only after I've compiled a good album of them. Yes. Hahaz. Lame and good jokes. =)

Signing off!

I know I'm stubborn,
I know I'm a mule,
But I just won't burn,
It's all about you.

Conflicting feelings,
Opposing dreams,
All I'm wishing,
Is to be the theme.

- Seow Yi Zhe

Wanna analyse? =)

Wheeee

2005-01-23T20:55:00.000+08:00

Hi!
I'm back!
With a new me.
:D
Tumultous 3 weeks have left me, a shell to improve on!
Wheee
Hahaz.
Feels great to be back.
Ran 3 km today, as well as 3000 strides at resistance 6 for 2000 and 8 for 1000. Officially making a new record! Hahaz. 300 calories burnt with me sweating like a PIG.
Yes
I'm a pig
But not for long! :D
Hahaz
I'm crapping
:)

What really happened

2004-08-10T22:17:00.000+08:00

Hmmm... More and more people would know of this site and more and more people would know of the comments I gave Terence and gang. Even Nadj was telling me that he's disappointed. Hah. Everyone thought I changed? Yes I did change, on the outside. You can't kill an expressive voice and a critical mind, all you can do is to curb the expressive side of it. That's what I've been doing for the past few months, years. Curbing the expressive side.

When I got this blog, I was expressing and saying everything to this blog. Didn't bother to edit my mistakes or change anything, because I kept this strictly to the individuals I would share this blog with. When Uncle Stamford appeared, I had his agreement to not spread the blog I had. I even changed my blog address thrice, to prevent some anonymous spammer from irritating me.

Then came last Wednesday, 4th August. Leewen and Lawrence came along with Jermyn and started insulting me before me 2.4 km test. The one which I remember "fondly" of was that shit comes out from my mouth, therefore the rest of the shit gathers up in my butt, that's why it's so big. If you say I have no shame to tell everyone this, then I have no shame. For I leave you to judge yourself.

First, I was puzzled, for I had no idea why they were talking like that to me. Until Boon asked me about my blog. Obviously I was horrified, shocked, dumbfounded, stupefied. A simple question appeared, "How the fuck did they even know it?". But I hadn't remembered my entries so I was still pondering on why they got pissed off. My blood was already getting to the boiling temperature as I started to jog. I had hoped my anger would help me run, but instead it had impeded. And halfway through the run, I realised I had made some comments on the blog about the arrangement... And kind of decided it was that which had caused such opinions and comments to start.

Upon reaching home, I read through my blog, to find the entry and words there. I had not remember it well, for I had never meant it, let alone let other people read it. I thought I had privacy over here so I just let go of everything and just typed whatever I thought then and there. It never occured to me that my words would be harsh IF someone within the group had come along. Why? It was never meant to be read, other than by my closest friends.

Sorry I don't want to post it up here for it'll just stir sentiments once again and cause biasness in judging. Yes the words were harsh, the opinions were insulting. But it was in a feeling of annoyance. And GREAT. What happened? I had people coming to me insulting me for something I never meant. Of course I should've held my tongue. To what? My own PRIVATE journal?

Then came comments from all kinds of people. I know I've been irritating in the past, I've been working to change my outward appearance. Yes, I may think badly of everything and everyone at first, but that's instinct. You can't expect me to change instinct can you? I've been trying to get on good terms and see the good in everyone. Yes there are a few exceptions but I'm still in the midst of trying aren't I? ONE comment of anger, in a space where I thought is mine and mine alone, had caused such a destruction to my work. Who do you think is feeling more hurt? Who do you think is feeling a bigger agony and insult?

There were two reasons why the blog was even released, as in two bigger possibilities. There were spammers on my blog who already obviously didn't like me, and I was trying to chase them away, to no avail. Perhaps I should've shooed them or get rid of them, and that's what I tried to do by changing blog address and such, but obviously it failed. The spammers might've taken this chance to try to ruin me. Yes, well done if you are aiming to do that. But my pride still stands, morons. I hadn't done much wrong. Only in expressing and reacting to instinct. If it wasn't the spammers, it would've been one friend who I trust. Now I have no idea who, and no idea why. Perhaps I trust too easily? But no... I gave it to very few. Or could it be that one of you people stumbled onto my blog and started spreading it? Sorry but if so, you should be ashamed of yourself, for not only have you read my private blog, you had spread it, well knowing it's private, being that I had written on the very first entry.

That's the aggravating part, I have no idea who is working at hand, or who betrayed me. No words of apology and no signs of who.

If you still want to point fingers at me and curse me for being human. Go ahead. You're human too. You might laugh at that, saying that it's my own stupidity in writing in a blog which isn't LOCKED, but think about it, it's blogspot, and I wouldn't exactly expect someone to pry into everyone's secrets would I? If so the person should be shot for being a witch.

Think about it.

Again, I apologise for the malicious and unfair comments. It was in a fit of anger and annoyance that I had commented so. Hope you understand, and I wouldn't do such a thing anymore. I hadn't really meant it.

Sorry no cure?

2004-08-04T23:00:00.000+08:00

Sorry no cure has to be one of the oldest thing said by Singaporeans. One thing that it shows is the relentlessness of people of their impression on someone. The moment someone has faulted, darkness had completely covered them, they're evil, they're incorrigible, they'll never change. No wonder Singaporeans are narrow-minded.

Yes... Admittably I had done something wrong by talking bad about someone on my blog. But at what sort of situation? Think about it. Everyone has their opinions on everyone, even if you "curb" those feelings. I just express it more, especially within this blog. This was meant to be private, and obviously it wouldn't amount to bitching because this are personal opinions on things. You mean to say that girls who are always nice and friendly are darn bitchy because they relief all their stress in their diaries? Sanctity of privacy should always come first, but obviously, mine has been broken.

I wonder who's the culprit behind the spreading of the address, but I make no qualms about apologising to those who had read unfair comments about them unwittingly, for you are not the ones at fault. If you want to go on and continue to be so ill-tempered and obstinate to see the light, I have nothing else to say. And truth? There's no true meaning of truth, if you state in such a strong statement. Why? There's no such thing as hard facts, for only movements and words are substantial. The ideas behind it, are mysteries of the human mind. The basis of chemistry might not be completely true either, for all you may know whatever you learn now you might have to relearn another theory altogether when you reach 80. Just giving some comments...